Alaska Just Went "Red" -- Reuters (I Can't Make This Up) -- EPA On Highest Alert

I just updated the earlier post regarding the EPA's latest rules in the war-on-coal noting that Washington would have to cut emissions by over 400% if Mount St Helens erupts between now and 2030.

This is too good to be true. Timing is everything.

Reuters is reporting that an EPA "yellow" state, Alaska, just went "red." Reuters is reporting:

An Alaska volcano that has been spewing ash and lava for years began erupting with new intensity this week, pushing a plume of smoke and ash as high as 24,000 feet (7,315 meters) and prompting scientists to issue their highest volcanic alert in five years, authorities said on Tuesday.

But the intense action at the Pavlof Volcano, located in an uninhabited region nearly 600 miles (966 km) southwest of Anchorage, has so far not disrupted any regional air traffic, thanks to favorable weather that has made it easier for flights to navigate around the affected area. 

Still, the eruption was intense enough for Alaska Volcano Observatory scientists to issue their first red alert warning since 2009, when the state's Mount Redoubt had a series of eruptions that spewed ash 50,000 feet (15,240 meters). 

"This means it can erupt for weeks or even months," observatory research geologist Michelle Coombs said of the warning. "I don't think we will be at red for that long, but we are expecting it to go for a while based on its past."

Unconfirmed reports: EPA is sending two aircraft filled with bureaucrats, with hand-held calculators, yellow legal pads, and clipboards, preparing to issue new "30-30" guidelines for Alaska, literally as we speak.

An EPA spokesperson, commenting anonymously saying she did not have authority to speak on the subject officially, said, "This is serious. Alaska was pale yellow under the initial 30-30 but this is already putting Alaska into a bright yellow/orange category. I could see it going red. Puce is possible. We never thought we would have to go to puce, so that was never in the original 30-30 plan."

The EPA flight plans took the two aircraft directly over Sarah Palin's home, where the pilots noted "we could see Russia from there." The co-pilot, commenting anonymously saying she did not have authority to speak on the subject officially, said, "Sarah was sincere. She really could see Russia from her porch. Look there's a polar bear. Two. Struggling. The ice is thinning. I wish now I would have voted for Sarah. Who was her running mate, again?"

Some of the EPA observers wondered if the Bering Strait didn't seem a bit higher than usual, something that has been long predicted due to global warming.

"You know, I was last up here five years ago and I don't remember the Bering Strait being that high. It could be the moon and the tides, but the sun is still up so I don't think it could be the moon pulling the tide toward the beach. I think it's global warming."

Any chance of hurricanes? Probably not yet. Although the risk of "land hurricanes" is always there.

The Greenpeace ship that interfered with Statoil earlier this week is rushing to the strait to verify the height of the ocean. Scientists on that ship had not prepared for this possibility and have requested the US Navy provide them some rulers, preferably with "millimeter markings."

Again, this is all unconfirmed. I doubt that any of it is true, but a reader sent it to me, so it must be true. If I find it on the internet, I know it will be true.

Searching....searching....searching....

Searching, Searching, Del Shannon