Chariots on Fire: The New Chevrolet Volt

Date-time stamp. Check.
Volt: Chariots on fire. Check.
Now to continue with the rest of the post. And check.

Alright. Now that the phrase is date-time stamped, we can see if anyone beats "me" to the punch on the new name for the Chevy Volt.

Don sent me that gem: the suggested new name for the Chevy Volt. I cannot take credit for it, but I have just googled "Chariots on fire" and "Volt" and nothing popped up on the first two pages. I added "Chevrolet" and still nothing popped up. So, we will see if anyone claims that new name. [Update: 4:32 p.m.: now there are more hits on google re: chariots of fire and the Volt, but this blog still holds the #1 and #2 spot on Google for this specific search. But the effort has brought me to a great blog: biggovernment.com and Detroit's hottest car.]

Speaking of which, and I did not know this until Don alerted me to it, General Motors is providing a loaner car to owners of the Volt until this is all sorted out.

Right now, General Motors is thanking their lucky stars (if this can really be called "lucky") they only sold 6,000 Volts, far fewer than the 10,000 they had projected. Some have suggested (certainly not me) about 5,500 of those 6,000 were sold to dealers; if true GM is probably only in the hole to the tune of about 500 cars.

From the linked story:

The company says it will contact the owners to reassure them that the cars are safe. But it's making the offer to make sure Volt owners don't lose confidence in the cars.

In lieu a copy of the actual contact letter, I am paraphrasing what is likely to be in the GM letter offering the loaner car (this is not the real letter; it is only my imagination): 

Dear treasured Volt owner,

You have no doubt been reading in the newspapers, hearing on the radio, and seeing reports on television about the potential for the Chevrolet Volt to burst into flame if involved in a severe crash. To date, fender benders have not resulted in any exploding batteries or flash fires.

We want to reassure you that the Volt is entirely safe. Therefore, we are offering you a loaner car until this issue is resolved. Of course, that begs the question: if the Volt is entirely safe, why are we offering you a loaner car? For two reasons: a) we know you are no fool; and, b) our lawyers told us to.

If you are interested in a loaner car, please have a friend drive you to your nearest GM dealer in his/her non-Volt car, or take public transportation, or walk. Under no circumstances should you be driving your Volt to pick up a loaner.

For those of you who do not desire a loaner, we will be sending out a lawyer to have you sign a waiver releasing GM from all liability.

Again, please be assured that the Volt is entirely safe.

s/Representative of Government Motors

The letter is made up. GM offering loaners for a perfectly safe car is not made up.

Okay, now google "Chariots on fire" and "Volt."

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On a completely different note, I really do have to hand it to pundits how quickly they come up with these things: Chevy ... Camaro ... Corvette ... Chevelle ... Chariots ...

And I am not making this up, the Chevy Spark is due to be released in the summer of 2012. Yes, the Spark. Something tells me GM has formed a focus group to determine whether a different name might be warranted.

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GM has scheduled a conference call to answer questions:

This is why the head of GM North America, Mark Reuss, and the head of GM Global Product Development, Mary Barra, are holding a conference call to answer questions about the Chevy Volt. 

The article does not say: are those two talking to each other, or will other folks be invited in on the conference call?

This is the last line of the article:

GM and NHTSA have both said the Volt is safe.

I guess that's why there is an ongoing federal investigation into this government-owned automobile manufacturer and why GM is providing loaner cars to Volt owners, because the Volt is safe.

As noted above: the first thing I would do at GM is consider changing the name of the Spark due out next summer. Or change the name of the Volt to "Blaze" as another wit has suggested. Blaze and Spark.

Would you want a Spark sitting next to a Volt with a battery that tends to burst into flame because it has no steel protective covering which the Nissan Leaf has?