Locator: 49872LAVA.
From Facebook, sent to me by a reader, thank you very much. First the photo:
Then the narrative:
Wyoming Oil Well Lava Incident Downgraded From “Geological Anomaly” to “Probably Fine”
CASPER, WY - One day after molten lava erupted from an oil wellhead outside Casper, state and federal officials have officially downgraded the incident from a “once in a lifetime geological event” to “probably fine,” clearing the site for limited operations and cautiously reopening high school earth science textbooks.
The hardened lava, now resembling a glossy black ring of volcanic rock encasing the wellhead, has been tentatively labeled “industrial basalt” by a joint team of geologists, petroleum engineers, and one guy who “used to watch a lot of Discovery Channel.”
“We’ve determined that while this looks exactly like lava, glows like lava, and melted a $40,000 valve like lava, it is technically not something we’re prepared to panic about,” said a spokesperson while standing an unsafe distance away from the site.
Crews reported that overnight temperatures caused the material to crack and steam, briefly reigniting concern among workers who were told to “ignore it unless it starts chanting.”
“Management says if it bubbles again, just radio it in,” said one employee. “Same as oil. Or gas. Or… magma, I guess.”
The Wyoming Geological Survey confirmed that the state still does not have volcanoes, adding that Wyoming does, however, have “a long history of finding things underground that absolutely do not belong there.”
Rumors briefly circulated that the site would be converted into Wyoming’s first geothermal oil-lava hybrid operation, but officials clarified that no plans exist to monetize magma “at this time.”
Meanwhile, the cooled formation has already attracted interest from souvenir hunters, amateur geologists, and at least one local claiming it would “look real nice by the fire pit.”
As operations slowly resume, workers say they’ve made peace with the situation.
“I guess when you drill miles into the Earth, sometimes the Earth drills back,” one crew member said, shrugging. “Just glad it wasn’t dinosaurs.”
Officials reiterated that there is no danger to the public and encouraged residents to remain calm unless additional elements such as ash clouds, tremors, or a fire-breathing mountain appear.
