Locator: 47127LIFE.
A start.
Lessons Learned
99% of life is showing up.
- seriously, this may be the most important lesson learned: 99% of life is simply showing up
- generally speaking, it's better to arrive fashionably late, than not show up at all
- if late, apologize to your host; explain why (even if it requires a bit of hyperbole, but don't lie)
Be wired to say "yes"; be wired to be "positive" --
- "yes" is your default position
- but if "yes" is not your "real" answer, qualify it later in the same conversation; preferably in the immediate response
- under-promise; over-deliver
- be eager to volunteer but no what for what you are volunteering
Speaking / promising:
- learn to speak in the passive voice and third person
- always start with a "positive" response, even if it's nothing more than "thank you for asking"
- just because a question is asked, it doesn't mean you have to answer, but you have to have to respond
- answer the question you want to answer, not the question that was asked
No one likes to be around a "negative" person.
During your coming-of-age years: understand the difference --
- platonic love vs romantic love
- sexual / physical relationships; don't mis-read / mis-lead your "partner."
It goes without saying:
- no smoking (no smoking)
- no illicit drugs
- no licit drugs unless an absolute must
- no discussing licit drug use with others
- no discussing personal medical issue with others -- except those with a need to know
- "no" alcohol (note: "no" in quotes; willing to discuss)
It goes without saying:
- don't carry weapons
- take self-defense courses sooner than later (jiu-jitsu not taekwando)
It goes without saying:
- maintain impeccable personal hygiene
- beware
- women may not like men's cologne
- as a male, I would err on side of no cologne until I learn / know more
- women's perfume: I have no clue what the current protocol is
- dress your best -- that does not mean suit/tie or evening dress -- consider the setting
- if unable to process this advice, watch a few movies from the 1940s and 1950s, such as the Thin Man series
- when in public, assume someone is always watching you (you are on television 24/7 outside your apartment / dorm / house)
It goes without saying:
- conversation in almost any setting: politics and religion are non-starters; high risk
- better to listen than talk -- but don't be flower on the wall -- participate
Interactions:
- it's all about others;
- everyone likes to hear their name
- read a book on how to remember names -- and use the techniques.
- it's not about you.
Over-riding goal in life: leave the world better than you found it.
- if God allows you only goal, this is it: leave the world better than you found it.
Learn the social graces.
- eating / meals:
- for fuel vs for social interaction -- don't confuse the two
- in private, most of your meals: for fuel; manage weight
- with one other (or more): social, business, not fuel
- social, business meal: duration as long as your guest(s) want it to last (read / know your guest)
- be among the last to finish your meal; do not be first to finish
- but don't continue to eat after others have finished
- don't give list of things you don't eat; "go with the flow" but control the situation
- seating: learn where to sit in social / business situation;
- know who will be there before you arrive
- read the room when you arrive
- there is no such thing as a "social event" with your boss;
- every "social event" with your boss is a job / promotion interview -- trust me on this one
- have at least three topics of interest for small -- but meaningful -- talk in mind
- write them down on 3 x 5 note card if that will help
- tattoos last forever (generally speaking)
- a well-placed / well-drawn tattoo on WWII sailor -- a must
- for everyone else: no.
Do not cause others to ping.
- don't worry your parents; don't worry your partner;
- solve your own problems; but help your partner solve his/her problems.
- keep your parents in the loop -- but not in real-time.
Exercise.
- at least
- ten minutes every hour
- one hour every day
- develop a routine: treadmill, biking, swimming, walking, relaxed running
- all things being equal:
- best exercise: biking
- second best: swimming (but takes more time)
- third best: walking (treadmill or in the "wild")
Don't sell yourself short; set high goals.
- keep track of where you came from, where you are, and where you're headed
Don't waste a minute.
Certainly don't waste a summer.
Definitely don't waste a year.
Stay in touch -- don't burn bridges.
You can never send too many thank you notes.
Document and date everything. Keep copies.
Keep journals. Handwriting beats typing.
- journal first, handwriting, on the fly;
- blogging: best way to keep dates, contacts, but doesn't replace hand-written journals.
Keep contact list.
Keep correspondence, original and / or copies, sent / received.
Cherish your friendships.
Never quit reading.
Take calculated risks.
See the world.
- if the military is not in your future, spend one summer abroad, no matter what it costs
- but do it on your own (or with a friend): youth hostels; lots of walking; two meals a day; one beer a day for the calories and a good night's sleep
- do not go from college to graduate school without a summer abroad first
The military experience is under-rated and often poorly marketed.
- high school seniors with no idea what to do: one could do worse than enlist, or
- go to college with goal of :
- officer's training school, USAF -- preferred option for most;
- Marine Corps Officer Candidates School -- best option for the few, the proud,
Take lessons / classes in strategic planning.
In school:
- look it up
- write it down
- do it now
- stay away from folks with a negative attitude
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