Elsewhere, On Another Blog, I'm Updating Lessons Learned After 70 Years Of Life -- A Most Wonderful Life -- Always In Progress -- May 19, 2024

Locator: 47127LIFE.

A start.

Lessons Learned

99% of life is showing up.

• seriously, this may be the most important lesson learned: 99% of life is simply showing up
• generally speaking, it's better to arrive fashionably late, than not show up at all
• if late, apologize to your host; explain why (even if it requires a bit of hyperbole, but don't lie)

Be wired to say "yes"; be wired to be "positive" --

• "yes" is your default position
• but if "yes" is not your "real" answer, qualify it later in the same conversation; preferably in the immediate response
• under-promise; over-deliver 
• be eager to volunteer but no what for what you are volunteering
  

Speaking / promising:

• learn to speak in the passive voice and third person
• always start with a "positive" response, even if it's nothing more than "thank you for asking"
• just because a question is asked, it doesn't mean you have to answer, but you have to have to respond
• answer the question you want to answer, not the question that was asked

No one likes to be around a "negative" person.

During your coming-of-age years: understand the difference --

• platonic love vs romantic love
• sexual / physical relationships; don't mis-read / mis-lead your "partner."
  

It goes without saying:

• no smoking (no smoking)
• no illicit drugs
• no licit drugs unless an absolute must
• no discussing licit drug use with others
• no discussing personal medical issue with others -- except those with a need to know
• "no" alcohol (note: "no" in quotes; willing to discuss)
  

It goes without saying:

• don't carry weapons
• take self-defense courses sooner than later (jiu-jitsu not taekwando)

It goes without saying:

• maintain impeccable personal hygiene
• beware
• women may not like men's cologne
• as a male, I would err on side of no cologne until I learn / know more
  
• women's perfume: I have no clue what the current protocol is
  
• dress your best -- that does not mean suit/tie or evening dress -- consider the setting
  
• if unable to process this advice, watch a few movies from the 1940s and 1950s, such as the Thin Man series
• when in public, assume someone is always watching you (you are on television 24/7 outside your apartment / dorm / house)
  

It goes without saying:

• conversation in almost any setting: politics and religion are non-starters; high risk
• better to listen than talk -- but don't be flower on the wall -- participate

Interactions:

• it's all about others;
• everyone likes to hear their name
• read a book on how to remember names -- and use the techniques.
  
• it's not about you.

Over-riding goal in life: leave the world better than you found it.

• if God allows you only goal, this is it: leave the world better than you found it.

Learn the social graces.

• eating / meals:
• for fuel vs for social interaction -- don't confuse the two
• in private, most of your meals: for fuel; manage weight
  
• with one other (or more): social, business, not fuel
• social, business meal: duration as long as your guest(s) want it to last (read / know your guest)
  
• be among the last to finish your meal; do not be first to finish
• but don't continue to eat after others have finished
  
• don't give list of things you don't eat; "go with the flow" but control the situation
• seating: learn where to sit in social / business situation; 
• know who will be there before you arrive
  
• read the room when you arrive
  
• there is no such thing as a "social event" with your boss; 
• every "social event" with your boss is a job / promotion interview -- trust me on this one
  
• have at least three topics of interest for small -- but meaningful -- talk in mind
• write them down on 3 x 5 note card if that will help
  
• tattoos last forever (generally speaking)
• a well-placed / well-drawn tattoo on WWII sailor -- a must
• for everyone else: no.
  

Do not cause others to ping.

• don't worry your parents; don't worry your partner;
• solve your own problems; but help your partner solve his/her problems.
  
• keep your parents in the loop -- but not in real-time.

Exercise.

• at least
• ten minutes every hour
• one hour every day
• develop a routine: treadmill, biking, swimming, walking, relaxed running
  
• all things being equal:
• best exercise: biking
• second best: swimming (but takes more time)
• third best: walking (treadmill or in the "wild")
  

Don't sell yourself short; set high goals. 

• keep track of where you came from, where you are, and where you're headed

Don't waste a minute.

Certainly don't waste a summer.

Definitely don't waste a year.

Stay in touch -- don't burn bridges. 

You can never send too many thank you notes.

Document and date everything. Keep copies.

Keep journals. Handwriting beats typing.

• journal first, handwriting, on the fly;
• blogging: best way to keep dates, contacts, but doesn't replace hand-written journals.

Keep contact list.

Keep correspondence, original and / or copies, sent / received.

Cherish your friendships.

Never quit reading.

Take calculated risks.

See the world.

• if the military is not in your future, spend one summer abroad, no matter what it costs
• but do it on your own (or with a friend): youth hostels; lots of walking; two meals a day; one beer a day for the calories and a good night's sleep
• do not go from college to graduate school without a summer abroad first
  

The military experience is under-rated and often poorly marketed.

• high school seniors with no idea what to do: one could do worse than enlist, or
• go to college with goal of :
• officer's training school, USAF -- preferred option for most;
  
• Marine Corps Officer Candidates School -- best option for the few, the proud, 
  

Take lessons / classes in strategic planning.  

In school:

• look it up
• write it down
• do it now
• stay away from folks with a negative attitude