I-98
Season One, Episode 2: The Inferno
a syndicated television series spanning one decade, 2040 - 2049
Chronicles from The Bakken
Starring Samuel "Oilman" Goshwin & Liam Nikolai Gjorkstad
with occasional appearances by Archie McCool
initial funding from Apple Prairie Broadcasting
and
matching grant money from The Legacy Fund,
and
continuing support from viewers like you.
Season One, Episode Two: The Inferno
Liam: "Don't tell me you're crying over a little bit of spilled beer?
Samuel, blowing his nose in his handkerchief, wiping the tears from his eyes, "No, it's this darn hayfever."
Samuel had run out of Allegra-X, the follow-on to Allegra-M, which, in turn, had followed Allegra-D.
[Shares in the parent company had plunged several years earlier when investors noted that the manufacturer was getting near the end of the alphabet. Disaster was averted, however, when the President of the United States had stepped in, and by executive order, added sixteen letters to the alphabet. Like most of his cabinet, the letters were not needed; nor, like most of his cabinet were they ever used, so no one complained. In fact, had the letters been more like the president's "czars" no one would have even noticed them.]
It
was easier to get refills back when ObamaCare still existed, but that
was long ago. ObamaCare had been replaced by Michelle Enterprises.
Michelle Enterprises went public in 2025 (NYSE ticker: ME), and despite
its "heritage," was endorsed by the Tea Party, long since defunct) when
Michelle agreed to tack on "Inc." at the end of ME, to make it appear
"more capitalistic." The original plans were to make the enterprise an
LLC but no one in the administration knew what those letters stood for,
no one having been in business before.
Michelle Care Enterprises-Medical Systems Endeavors (MCE-MSE, pronounced "mickey mouse" by Fox Business News)
was a wholly-owned subsidiary of Michelle Enterprises. MCE-MSE
developed the health care enrollment app. Unfortunately the Belarus
engineers who wrote the code neglected to develop the "medication
refill" app. [The Belarus engineers, in their defense, said it was never
in the contract to develop a "refill" app.]
And
without the app, Samuel was up a creek without a paddle, as they often
said in Rugby. More accurately, he was up a creek in ragweed country
without his allergy medications.
Ragweed
was nearly eradicated when the I-98 was being built. Ragweed to the
I-98 workers was what yellow fever was to those working on the Panama
Canal at the end of of the nineteenth century. Ragweed hayfever could
never be compared to yellow fever, but it slowed things down.
Dr
Ole Kjorkstad (no relation to Liam, despite the similarity in
surnames), was North Dakota's "Dr Gorges." He almost eradicated ragweed.
Unfortunately The New York Times did a piece on the weed, and wouldn't you know it -- ragweed was declared an endangered species. Now it was back.
Had The Dickinson Press not done a human interest story on ragweed, it's likely The New York Times would
have never picked up on the story. But the video-story went viral: a
Dickinson city bus driver had gone into a hayfever sneezing fit and had
run his bus into a WBR&C crude oil unit train west of the Dickinson
refinery. Unfortunately, the 220-car unit train had not yet unloaded its
legendary flammable cargo. The ensuing inferno could be seen from outer
space for days. It reminded some of the old-timers of the good old days
when flaring was still allowed. Today's four-car derailment was a far
cry from the "Dickinson Disaster of '27" as it came to be called.
In
his haste to reach the overturned beer tank, Sam had forgotten it was
late August, the 28th to be exact. Ragweed pollination season begins on
August 15th, like clockwork.
The sun was low on the horizon; pollen counts increase at dawn and dusk, like that other North Dakota scourge: mosquitoes. Sam was sneezing into his handkerchief and Liam was still swatting the aforementioned pests when they reached the beer running into the drainage ditch.
By
now the authorities had arrived; drones were circling overhead; two
Rugby female police officers were setting up barricades; a Good Humor
ice cream truck had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. The ice cream
truck was the one non-emergency vehicle allowed to go around the police
barricades. A crowd had gathered. The crows feasting on roadkill had
long scattered but were not far out of sight.
"Get
back! It's gonna blow!" cried a voice from the crowd; the shouter was
never identified. The yell was said later to have come from the grassy
knoll on the other side of the road.
The
two oil men ran toward the drainage ditch, covering their ears. Liam
jumped into the ditch, and became partially swamped by the beer, which
in another setting might not have been the worst outcome. Sam didn't
make it to the beer-filled ditch. One of the three derailed oil tank
cars burst into flame, no explosion, just a 30-foot-flare, reminiscent
of the old Bakken flares.
"Quick, this way," Liam cried.
Sam
was temporarily blinded; he was lying in a swath of ragweed; his eyes
were swollen shut. Instinctively he moved away from the heat of the
flame. Liam tried to get to his knees, stumbled, and fell back into the
ditch.
The
Rugby ECNALUBMA had arrived on scene but was blocked by the Good Humor
truck from getting where it needed to be. Not funny, despite the
lettering on the ice cream truck.
The
paramedics rushed to Sam and Liam (they would later be honored by the
Rugby Rotary Club as heroes for rushing toward the fire when everybody
else, that is, Sam and Liam, were trying to flee). The crowd was not
moving. The crowd sort of reminded some folks of the crowds that
gathered every February at the First Lutheran Church in Williston for
the annual Lutefisk and Lefse Dinner. It would take more than a three-alarm fire to get Norwegians to leave their pews patiently waiting for lutefisk.
[Post-events,
the mayor of Rugby became a national celebrity, even thinking about
running for President of the United States for his actions that day,
maintaining calm in Rugby. The Dickinson Press would later publish a human interest story on the derailment, focusing on the ECNALUBMA.]
"Sam, are you okay?" was all a shocked Liam could muster.
The drones continued filming.
I think this is Great, Especially cause it is both commercial and a intellectually free production..
ReplyDeleteI assume this great of a production must be going for a Kensington award from the MN film fest..
don
I'm hoping to sell the movie rights to help cover the cost of the blog.
Delete